I got some news today. An e-mail from my much better half telling me a colleague, well in as much as I/we have worked with him on numerous projects, has cancer. I was pointed to Pee’s blog where he has been documenting his journey with the ‘beast’ - my words not his. So, I read.

I had a strange feeling reading through his posts. I ‘know’ him, we have spent time talking about stuff other than work on many occasions and to be honest, he is one of the few people I have come across professionally that I actually admire. He’s good but at the same time is not a twat about it, not always trying to prove something to everyone around him. I admire that and it makes working with him a great experience. Reading his blog opened another side to him as he put revelations and inner findings into pixels on my screen, and in doing so got me thinking about the many things that have been occupying my mind for a lot of months now.

Those who know me know that today, a very significant part of my life has come to an end, officially. None of it panned out the way anyone thought it would and if I had to guess, I would say the entire ordeal prolly has taken a few years off my life through stress. But it’s done, I am heavier and unfitter (and unhealthier) than I ever have been and I think about what’s important in a very different way than I ever used to; over the past year and a half, actually 18 months all up, I started to question a lot of things about life and through doing some of the work that I had been doing (and still do), and live where I live, question things even more.

Life is short. We think it’s not, carry on as if life will go on and on. But the reality is that our time on this blob of sod and H2O is short. I woke up the other day and realised I am way too close to the wrong number age wise. Not sure how that happened but it hit me like a hammer and adds to my realisation that most of us spend so much time fussing over, striving for…nothing, at a great cost to ourselves. If I think about the past, I see that those things that I once thought as important are only fleeting specs of dust. Take it all away and really, all it does is take away some of the comfort we are so all obsessed about surrounding ourselves with. We don’t need it and it does not enrich our inner selves, in many cases all it does is make us shallower, nastier, self important. Think about it this way, if I come and take everything from you, what is the person that is left?

If you were told that in a week you were going to drop dead, what can you say about yourself? If you had to look deep into the you of you, could you really say that you spent everyday enjoying life? Put another way, when was the last time you listened to a piece of music, sat back and just really enjoyed it? When was the last time you enjoyed cooking a meal? Not just making dinner but actually really enjoying the whole deal? I think if we are all truthful, most of us will say we can’t remember. That’s because most of us just go through the motions of life, and in doing so, think that that IS life.

I think it’s not until something life changing comes along and slaps you in the head, that you realise that you have to stand back and really look at life through a new set of glasses because the ones you are wearing are probably clouded over by now. The problem is, that’s a pretty drastic way to be told to reassess things.

So maybe when you get a minute, ask yourself these questions:

• On the last sunny, warm day, what did you do and why?
• When was the last time you took the time to enjoy just being?
• Does what you do make you happy? Not just like, but really make you happy.
• When was the last time you did something that scared you or thought you couldn’t do?
• When was the last time you enjoyed a good meal? Not a fancy fine dinning experience, but an honest, simple meal.
• The next time you are in a shop buying the latest whatsit, ask yourself if you really need it and how will it improve ‘you’?

The thing I realised is what society tells us we need, should do, is actually nothing like what we really need, in fact it’s the complete opposite…

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